how 2 rite gud fanfikshun

how 2 rite gud fanfikshun

By theretard5892

Chapter seventeen: Yaoi- recap

First off- apologies. I'm sorry for any and all things that I have said in previous chapters that anyone found offensive. I've grown up quite a bit since the last time I posted, and I'm a lot more intelligent and a lot less n00bish. I said things that I shouldn't have said, and I apologize. (I don't apologize for calling all my readers idiots, though, because I still stand firm with that accusation.)

Second- The actual subject of this chapter. Yaoi. I will attempt to describe my disgust regarding this subject in a more mature and less offensive way.

1) Common argument: 'Who cares if they aren't gay in the series? This is FANfiction!' All right. I admit it- this is a valid argument. But, please, if you're writing yaoi? Go the extra mile and make sure that it makes sense. In fact, writers of all pairings should do this. Don't just post some sort of EdxBlack Hayate shit with the excuse 'this is FANfiction!' sloppily pasted into an A/N. Put some thought into it. What's the backstory behind Ed's sudden kinky and disturbing taste in love partners? (Needless to say, it would be an interesting story. EdxBlack Hayate? Do tell!) Also, as horrible and wrong as it is, you must keep in mind the simple truth of the matter:

Homosexuals are not quickly and easily accepted. It's idealistic and incorrect to assume that the only problems of a gay couple would be fights-between-lovers and forgetting anniversaries. Keep the gay controversy in mind, at the very least. It doesn't have to be a major plot point or anything, but if it's a long, continuous romance between Ed and Roy, remember that there would be trouble in real life. Two well-known military men of dramatically different ages with dramatically similar reproductive organs aren't going to be able to sex it up without serious country-wide gossip.

2) Excuse me for saying this, but some of the pairings are really out-there. For example, EdxHughes. Um. Yeah. 15-year-old boy + happily married something-years-old man = hot, steamy man smex.

I don't think so.

I understand that all- no, not all, most- yaoi romance is written to be more, well, romantic than just man-sex and dirty jokes as us crackfic-writers portray it as. (Give me some credit there- it's not possible to poke fun at a pairing while always trying to please the fans of said pairing. It simply isn't done.) But, again, I come back to the main point of this chappy: Go the extra mile to give your OTP some sort of logical backstory. This applies to heterosexual pairings as well- don't think that I've forgotten you, EdxNoa shippers.

3) Go the extra mile to give your OTP some sort of logical backstory!

Read that sentence as many times as it takes for it to break through that thick skull of yours and penetrate the squishy blob that most people call the 'brain'. That's where thinkin' happens, and that's exactly what I want you to do: THINK.

How is Roy able to get Ed into bed with him a mere twenty-four hours after confessing his undying love?

If there was Elricest in the earlier chapters, why did you switch to EdxHei? Is Ed really shallow and desperate enough to get a new boyfriend simply because he resembles his brother?

Where are Gracia and Elicia in this EdxHughes fic?

Why, in this FMA high school AU Edvy fic, does no one make fun of the blatant homosexuals despite the fact that the entire plot relies on the fact that -they are at high school-? (I'm not homophobic, but who's to say that all the students at this AU-school are the same?)

4) FMA yaoi is, in case you haven’t noticed, non-cannon. EdWin is implied multiple times in the manga (these implications are easy to notice to avid readers and EdWin fans alike, although yaoi fans probably have techniques of their own for finding their fav pairings hinted within the storyline) and, therefore, has at least slight cannon-basis to build from. I would be equally infuriated to read het pairing fanfiction for a yaoi series.

In short, put some thought into your yaoi. Again, I'm not saying that het pairings are always more well-thought-out, but they do require less thought, in my opinion, because there are less real-world obstacles to include and overcome.

I apologize for the not-funniness of this chapter and also for any offending comments that I inadvertently may have made. I leave you with a 'sorry' and a joke:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.

OH EM GEE IMA LAFFIN MAH ARSE OFF.