how 2 rite gud fanfikshun

By theretard5892

Chapter Ten: Torture fics

For some reason or another, fangirls enjoy it when Ed is in pain. Science has no explanation for this, besides the popular theory that all fanfic authors are sadists.

So, it stands to reason that everyone enjoys writing fanfiction in which they torture Ed. Here's some advice on that subject...

If you're going to have there be gore, go all the way. Don't try and skip over the icky details because you don't think the readers will like it...It looks stupid. Torture fics aren't torture fics if they don't make you feel sick. Add the details; if a reader can't stomach the gore, they'll just stop reading. If the writer can't stomach the gore, then they should go write some chibi!Edxchibi!Winry fluff or something.

Make a believable motive. I've read SO many torture fics where the 'bad guy' tortures Ed for seemingly no reason. I roll my eyes every time. Some motives you can use, up for grabs:

The 'bad guy' can just be a sadist, simple as that. There are such people in the world that just...Like the sound of screams and the sight of blood. Someone like Kimblee.

A slightly tackier one, but useful if Ed's been kidnapped by 'men in white coats': Scientists that are doing experiments on the limits of the human body. Of course, you'd have to think of some fancy back-story as to why they'd kidnap a state alchemist, seeing as that's most likely illegal...

And, the most obvious one: The 'bad guy' is an enemy of the military who is holding Ed hostage/trying to get information from him.

So, there ya go. Most torture fics are depressingly stupid, so I had no choice but to address the issue.

Bye for now!

-theretard5892