Otaku language
Posted by A. T. on Friday, September 11, 2009
Under: theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun
By theretard5892
Chapter Fifteen: Otaku language
Thank you to readingFreek for suggesting this chapter. If you hadn't reviewed anonymous, I could've thanks you in a review reply instead of the actual chapter. But NO.
Anyways, the subject of today's lesson, boys and girls (although the majority of the population of FFnet is girls, thus questioning the 'boy's manga' status of the series) is on the fabled 'otaku language.'
Example:
"Nii-san, we're going to a party."
Ed fell over anime style and twitched. "Gobbledygook!* Oh no! But I don't want to go, Al-sama."
"Too bad, Nii-san. Let's go."
-Later (What's 'later' in Japanese? cuz, lyke, in english fanfikshun, its gud 2 use japanesey whatsits, rite? it mkes it kewler an stuffz. so ya.)-
"Konnichiwa, Riza-sensei, Roy-kun, Havoc-no kimi, Breda-chan and...Fuery and Falman don't exist because they aren't funny and I've run out of unsuitable honorifics. Kyou no tenki yohou wa, gozen wa ame, gogo wa hyou, yoru wa namekuji ka. Ichiou, kawa wo motte ikou kana. I don't know what that means, but it's Japanesey AND SO IT FITS!" Ed yelled. He was then taken off to a room with cushy walls for using a language that was completely unknown to all residents of Amestris. The only remotely similar language was Xingese, and even that wasn't close enough to be relevant.
An anger mark appeared on Ed's head. "I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE ASYLUM, SECURITY GUARD-CHAN!!"
Security Guard-chan sweatdropped. "Nani? But you're insane..."
"OH NO!" yelled the other security guards. "YOU'RE INSANE TOO! GET HIM!"
Thus, Edo-kun and Security Guard-chan went to prison and learned more Japanese from all the readers that were crying over the inevitable angst fic.
THE END
* I don't really know any Japanese...*shrugs* Oh well! It doesn't matter much. I've never been to Japan, and I don't think I'll ever have the chance to go, so it's not exactly important...At the moment.
I'll point out the mistakes.
1) Honorifics. Everyone seems to forget that this takes place in a European country. The fact that the manga was written in Japan is highly irrelevant. Don't use honorifics at all, ever, except in crackfics, because the normal rules don't apply in those. Otherwise, it's dumb.
(By the way, I messed up the honorifics on purpose, so don't get on my case about it, darling readers)
2) Nii-san. It's the same as with the honorifics thing- It doesn't matter that it sounds better than 'big brother.' If you want Al to refer to Ed that way, you have to use the English version, no matter how odd it sounds.
3) References to anime-only actions. 'Sweatdropped', 'fell over anime style' and 'an anger mark appeared' can only be expressed in pictures. They are exaggerations of ordinary actions, used for HUMOR in anime. Written works shouldn't contain stuff like that. It's stupid. Are YOU stupid? Yes? So you ARE stupid, hmm? Well, then, use those terms all you want. Stupid people are allowed to be stupid. It's in their nature.
4) Other Japanese words. Most random Japanese phrases are picked up from un-dubbed anime and don't make sense in fanfiction. Plus, the previously mentioned point of 'this is a European country.' The closest language they have to Japanese is Xingese, and I'm pretty sure that gets its origins from Chinese, not Japanese, so it's still inexcusable.
Basically, if you wanna show off your skill in the art of Japanesey language whatshits, write a fic entirely in Japanese.
Bye for now!
-theretard5892
PS- To get the random Japanese phrase that Ed shouted, I looked up ‘random Japanese phrases’ on Google and clicked a link to Yahoo answers.
Kyou no tenki yohou wa, gozen wa ame, gogo wa hyou, yoru wa namekuji ka. Ichiou, kawa wo motte ikou kana.= Today's weather forecast is candies in the morning, leopards in the afternoon and slugs in the night. I will bring an umbrella just in case.
I don’t know if it’s accurate, but is that really the aim of having random Japanese phrases in your fic? Of course not. The aim is to look cool, like you actually know the language, regardless of whether or not you actually do.
By theretard5892
Chapter Fifteen: Otaku language
Thank you to readingFreek for suggesting this chapter. If you hadn't reviewed anonymous, I could've thanks you in a review reply instead of the actual chapter. But NO.
Anyways, the subject of today's lesson, boys and girls (although the majority of the population of FFnet is girls, thus questioning the 'boy's manga' status of the series) is on the fabled 'otaku language.'
Example:
"Nii-san, we're going to a party."
Ed fell over anime style and twitched. "Gobbledygook!* Oh no! But I don't want to go, Al-sama."
"Too bad, Nii-san. Let's go."
-Later (What's 'later' in Japanese? cuz, lyke, in english fanfikshun, its gud 2 use japanesey whatsits, rite? it mkes it kewler an stuffz. so ya.)-
"Konnichiwa, Riza-sensei, Roy-kun, Havoc-no kimi, Breda-chan and...Fuery and Falman don't exist because they aren't funny and I've run out of unsuitable honorifics. Kyou no tenki yohou wa, gozen wa ame, gogo wa hyou, yoru wa namekuji ka. Ichiou, kawa wo motte ikou kana. I don't know what that means, but it's Japanesey AND SO IT FITS!" Ed yelled. He was then taken off to a room with cushy walls for using a language that was completely unknown to all residents of Amestris. The only remotely similar language was Xingese, and even that wasn't close enough to be relevant.
An anger mark appeared on Ed's head. "I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE ASYLUM, SECURITY GUARD-CHAN!!"
Security Guard-chan sweatdropped. "Nani? But you're insane..."
"OH NO!" yelled the other security guards. "YOU'RE INSANE TOO! GET HIM!"
Thus, Edo-kun and Security Guard-chan went to prison and learned more Japanese from all the readers that were crying over the inevitable angst fic.
THE END
* I don't really know any Japanese...*shrugs* Oh well! It doesn't matter much. I've never been to Japan, and I don't think I'll ever have the chance to go, so it's not exactly important...At the moment.
I'll point out the mistakes.
1) Honorifics. Everyone seems to forget that this takes place in a European country. The fact that the manga was written in Japan is highly irrelevant. Don't use honorifics at all, ever, except in crackfics, because the normal rules don't apply in those. Otherwise, it's dumb.
(By the way, I messed up the honorifics on purpose, so don't get on my case about it, darling readers)
2) Nii-san. It's the same as with the honorifics thing- It doesn't matter that it sounds better than 'big brother.' If you want Al to refer to Ed that way, you have to use the English version, no matter how odd it sounds.
3) References to anime-only actions. 'Sweatdropped', 'fell over anime style' and 'an anger mark appeared' can only be expressed in pictures. They are exaggerations of ordinary actions, used for HUMOR in anime. Written works shouldn't contain stuff like that. It's stupid. Are YOU stupid? Yes? So you ARE stupid, hmm? Well, then, use those terms all you want. Stupid people are allowed to be stupid. It's in their nature.
4) Other Japanese words. Most random Japanese phrases are picked up from un-dubbed anime and don't make sense in fanfiction. Plus, the previously mentioned point of 'this is a European country.' The closest language they have to Japanese is Xingese, and I'm pretty sure that gets its origins from Chinese, not Japanese, so it's still inexcusable.
Basically, if you wanna show off your skill in the art of Japanesey language whatshits, write a fic entirely in Japanese.
Bye for now!
-theretard5892
PS- To get the random Japanese phrase that Ed shouted, I looked up ‘random Japanese phrases’ on Google and clicked a link to Yahoo answers.
Kyou no tenki yohou wa, gozen wa ame, gogo wa hyou, yoru wa namekuji ka. Ichiou, kawa wo motte ikou kana.= Today's weather forecast is candies in the morning, leopards in the afternoon and slugs in the night. I will bring an umbrella just in case.
I don’t know if it’s accurate, but is that really the aim of having random Japanese phrases in your fic? Of course not. The aim is to look cool, like you actually know the language, regardless of whether or not you actually do.
In : theretard5892