Browsing Archive: September, 2009
Posted by A. T. on Friday, September 25, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter seventeen: Yaoi- recap First
off- apologies. I'm sorry for any and all things that I have said in
previous chapters that anyone found offensive. I've grown up quite a
bit since the last time I posted, and I'm a lot more intelligent and a
lot less n00bish. I said things that I shouldn't have said, and I
apologize. (I don't apologize for calling all my readers idiots,
though, because I still stand firm with that accusation.) Second-
The actual subj... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Monday, September 21, 2009,
In :
AliasAurora
Flamers can be difficult to deal with. They can often attack your writing on a personal level and can undermine your confidence in yourself and your skills. It's important to develop a thick skin, otherwise flames will bother you for a long time after you receive them. Everyone will get a flame at least once in their writing career, if they achieve any kind of recognition at all. (By "recognition" I mean you at least get a few reviews or a hundred-plus hits. It's not that many, really.) It's ... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Friday, September 11, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Sixteen: Crack Alright, everyone. This is probably the hardest thing to teach. Why, you ask? Because there are no rules- or even basic guidelines- to writing crack. See, crack doesn't come from your brain. And, of course, you are now expecting the oh-so-cliché 'it comes from your heart' line, but that would be lying, and I don't lie. Much. Crack doesn't come from your brain OR you heart. Crack comes from your ass. Some examples of good crack: -Any o... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Friday, September 11, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Fifteen: Otaku language Thank you to readingFreek for suggesting this chapter. If you hadn't reviewed anonymous, I could've thanks you in a review reply instead of the actual chapter. But NO. Anyways, the subject of today's lesson, boys and girls (although the majority of the population of FFnet is girls, thus questioning the 'boy's manga' status of the series) is on the fabled 'otaku language.' Example: "Nii-san, we're going to a party." Ed fell ov... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Fourteen: Yaoi Alright, let's get one thing straight- Mird does not like yaoi. But she has decided to make this into a respectable chapter instead of a rant. She has also decided to stop talking in third person (which you learned about in the previous chapter, darling readers). Here are her reasons: There is no evidence that any of the characters in FMA are gay, except maybe Envy. In fact, there is overwhelming evidence that they are NOT gay. For ... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Thirteen: POV POV stands for 'point of view.' There are three main points of view: First person, which is where the story is told from the point of view of one of the characters. In first person, the pronoun used is 'I'. First person is told from the point of view of a character in the story. I walked down the street and blablabla. For first person, you should label it as '(insert name here)'s POV' at the top of the page. Second person is the rarest... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Twelve: Onomatopoeia It took me a minute to memorize how to spell it, but it's worth it. Such a nice word. Onomatopoeia is (this is the literal definition from dictionary dot com): 'the formation of a word, as cuckoo or boom, by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent.' For example, 'Pocky' is onomatopoeia of the sound that it makes when you bite into it. That's how it got its name (according to a certain worksheet for a certa... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Eleven: Summaries Very few people can write good summaries, which is annoying beyond words. Simply saying 'I can't write good summaries, sorry!' does NOT count as a summary. It annoys me SO much when people do that. I never read stories with those words, or anything similar, in the summary. People tend to read things with shorter summaries. The summary for this, for example, is only about ten words. The first sentence or two should be a brief desc... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Ten: Torture fics For some reason or another, fangirls enjoy it when Ed is in pain. Science has no explanation for this, besides the popular theory that all fanfic authors are sadists. So, it stands to reason that everyone enjoys writing fanfiction in which they torture Ed. Here's some advice on that subject... If you're going to have there be gore, go all the way. Don't try and skip over the icky details because you don't think the readers will l... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Nine: Fem!Ed I have quite a few words to say on this subject. If you're going to write fem!Ed MAKE IT HUMOR. I can't stress this enough; serious fem!Ed is just about as exciting as math class. No, it's LESS exciting, and that's saying something. Ed being a girl since birth and hiding his gender...No. Just no. That doesn't work. Ed getting a sex change operation because he's gay? Even worse. (Actually, that would be pretty funny if the author was wri... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Eight: Homophones You guys are all idiots. All of you. If you can skip this chapter because you already know it, then you aren't an idiot. But, still review, okay? Thanks. We'll start off with the most irritating one: Their, there, they're. Oh my fucking god, it annoys me when people mess these up. Their: Possessive. Their cookies were good. There: Place. Go from here to there. They're: Contraction. They're stupid, like the readers. Readers, you're stu... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Seven: Disclaimers Disclaimer: how 2 rite gud fanfikshun BELONGS TO ME. NOT YOU. HA! Okay, so there's no REAL rules for disclaimers...In fact, they're not actually required. In case you haven't noticed, I never write disclaimers. I always forget and, besides which, I don't see the point. The only reason I'm writing this chapter is this: Something common I've noticed about disclaimers is that people tend to say similar things. Example- Disclaimer: I ... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Six: Dialogue I swear to the god that does not exist, I have explained this SO many times that I think my head might explode. Here's some shit you need to know about dialogue. LISTEN UP AND LISTEN WELL, BECAUSE THIS DRIVES ME FUCKING INSANE. Wrong: "Fullmetal, you're short." Said Mustang. Correct: "Fullmetal, you're short," said Mustang. If you want to go into details, Ed punched him in the face after that and he was hospitalized. But that's not the ... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Five: Orbs Welcome to the orb factory, where we create the orbs that you use daily! Orbs have become such a popular product lately, so we have created all types of them for your use! Our orbs come in 'mysterious crystal', 'shining golden', 'onyx', 'crimson' and an assortment of other colors. Seeing as the orbs are so popular, we have decided to come out with a new line of similes to use as eyes in shitty fanfiction! We believe that all our products ... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfiction By theretard5892 Chapter Four: Annoying Multi-spellings Ed rode on the train from Lior to Resembool. "Welcome back to Resinboul!" Winry exclaimed. "Did you have fun in Reole?" "Yeah," said Ed. "But I need to go to Central soon to hand in my report. I'm thinking about visiting Gracia and Elicia." "Oh, Elisia? Can I come with? I want to see Eliza too!" Ed nodded. "It's too bad Mr. Hughes died. He lived through the Ishbalan war but then he was killed by a homonculus." "I know,... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Three: Research JoPo08 told me to do a chapter on this. To tell the truth, I never do research for any of my fics. I think I'll start though, because she makes a good point. So just take this advice: If you're writing a fic, make sure you at least somewhat know what you're talking about. That means if you're writing a post-movie thing, read up a bit about Hitler. If you're writing a Fullmetal High School, uh, go to high school! If you're writing ... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
how 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter Two: lemons Censored censored censored censored censored and then Censored, censored censored censored censored But Censored censored, censored censored censored and she Censored censored censored censored censored He smiled and Censored censored censored, "Censored, censored!" she said as she Censored censored censored censored, censored... I think you get the point. Please, for the love of god, if you write a lemon, WARN US. In the summary, writ... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
How 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Chapter One: The horror of OOC part 1- Parental!RoyEd "Ow!" Ed exclaimed. "I stubbed my toe!" "Oh NO!" Roy shouted. "The end of the world!" Tears started leaking from Ed's bright gold orbs. "The PAIN!" he moaned. "Roy, I've always thought of you as a father, so COMFORT ME!" "It's okay," Roy said soothingly, pulling Ed into a hug and patting his back, somewhat awkwardly. Ed clutched Roy's shirt and started sobbing. "My life sucks!" he said through the tears.... Continue reading ...
Posted by A. T. on Thursday, September 10, 2009,
In :
theretard5892
How 2 rite gud fanfikshun By theretard5892 Introduction Each chapter will have an example of another type of horrible fanfiction. Mary Sues, Out Of Character characters, spelen/grumir, the word 'orbs'...It's all here. So if you're looking for an all-in-one guide of what you should never, ever do when writing fanfiction, 'how 2 rite gud fanfikshun' is the product for you! Get your free trial today! 100% satisfaction guaranteed or your money back! You can call it crack, and I can call it art. What ... Continue reading ...
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